(Orignally posted 18th May 2012)
To be honest, I didn't know there was even a Scorpion King 2. I just thought there was the enjoyable if slightly dull at times Scorpion King with the unflappable Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as the lead. However when I heard from fellow reviewer and all round nice guy Marter, that there was a third and that it was pretty good. Curious about this film, I decided to search Youtube, to see if someone had been kind enough to upload it. They had indeed, so I settled down to watch it, over the course of 8 parts, split into 15 minutes each. And I must say, it was quite the experience and one I was not expecting from a straight to DVD film.
The Scorpion King 3 picks up directly after the first film with a slightly less rugged but more attractive Mathayus (Played by Victor Webster), never letting on to whomever hires him that he is the Scorpion King, as he is now a mercenary, after the fall of his kingdom due to a deadly plague, which also claimed the life of his wife. As a result of this plague killing nearly everyone, Mathayus' kingdom is divided up into three separate kingdoms with a different ruler to each part of the kingdom. After that, King Horus (Played by the brilliant Ron Perlman) hires Mathayus to stop Talus (Played by Billy Zane), one of the other leaders, from taking over Horus' kingdom and to also stop him from stealing The Book of the Dead from Ramusan (Played by Temuera Morrison), the third leader of Egypt. For his journey, Horus gives Mathayus a sidekick in the shape of Olaf (Played by Bostin Christopher), a rather jovial gentleman with a taste for fisticuffs and women. After a brief but bonding fist fight between Mathayus and Olaf, where they ignore the group of bandits who proceed to steal everything they have, the two become close friends, while trading some quips every now and then, and together set off to protect The Book of the Dead from Talus, who seeks to us the Book to take over all the kingdoms.
However, when they arrive where the book is kept and fight off the army that's arrived to steal the book, the pair are soon given a different quest, which is to save a princess, who is the daughter to King Ramusan. Oh, and the princess is also the leader of a group called Cobra, who happen to be a group of ninjas, are introduced into the mix around this time as well. And to be honest, things do get sort o confusing here. Why is the princess the leader of a group of ninjas? Why does the princess's portrait have bug eyes? Why is it that five tigers appear out of nowhere then vanish, never to be seen or heard from again? After all this tom-foolery, Talus eventually winds up in a graveyard with the Book of the Dead, raises three warriors (Played by Selina Lo, Kimbo Slice and The Animal, Dave Batista) from their graves to generally do what warriors risen from the dead do; raise hell and look menacing whilst doing it. Now, to be honest, I did have trouble keeping up with what was going on in the beginning. The plot takes a while but it eventually shifts into gear and allows the cast to do what they do surprisingly well here, ham up every single scene it can possibly get away with. And the cast does so with quite surprising ease and gusto.
I will admit now, the start was ploddingly slow and seemed to meander between plot points without any real purpose. However, when it settles down, focuses itself and gets going, Scorpion King 3 becomes a riot. Billy Zane is brilliant as Talus, over-hamming every scene he's in and being consistent and brilliant as the villain. Every time Talus is on screen, you can feel the energy and fun just flowing from Zane as he delivers his lines and slaps people around the face with books with gusto. Webster does a brilliant job as Mathayus, nearly making me forget about Dwayne's performance in the first one. Christopher does a great job as Olaf too, bringing comedy and also toughness to the fray. Think of Danny Butterman from the finale of Hot Fuzz and you're not far off from Olaf and how he acts, really. Add to this that everyone involved with The Scorpion King 3 appear to not be taking this seriously, you get a vibe that everyone is enjoying themselves and this translates over to the action scenes. Seeing as the majority of the action is so over the top, it just wouldn't fit with the tone of The Scorpion King 3 if any of the action made sense.
We have ninjas coming out of lakes, running up waterfalls, flipping around and the Book of the Dead being used as a blunt mace, which isn't exactly what it was made for. But somehow, this all fits and you will find yourself enjoying how ludicrous it all is. The fact The Scorpion King 3 is so cheesy, so over the top and over-hammed actually works in its favour. If this had the tone of The Matrix or Die Hard 4, it just simply wouldn't be The Scorpion King 3. It would just be another film that was trying too hard to be cheesy and it would have been a total flop. However, seeing as no one appears to be taking The Scorpion King 3 clearly, this allows The Scorpion King 3 to flourish and become what it is, a stupidly cheesy, yet brilliantly put together action flick. And despite The Scorpion King 3 being a cheesy action flick, the action itself is pretty damn good. I never once got bored when watching the action scenes unfold in front of me. Admittedly yes, they did have to cut away from some of the gory kill scenes, what with The Scorpion King 3 being a PG-13 film, but this adds to the charms it already possesses. It's not relying on violence to keep you watching, it's using the full range of talent the cast possess to keep you entertained. Not many films can do that, but yet The Scorpion King 3 manages it wonderfully and with great ease.
However, there is a little foible to be found with The Scorpion King 3. As I mentioned earlier in the review, it does suffer from a slow and meandering start and it does take a while for the cast to kick into gear and really get their teeth into their roles. During this time, I did find my attention waning and I did have to force myself to pay attention to what was happening for the first 20 minutes or so. However, once you make it past that and the cast kick into gear, The Scorpion King 3 can be forgiven the slow start as it treats you with nearly endless over the top action scenes and hammy actors. And I guess some might find the ending a bit annoying, ending as it does but I honestly didn't mind it, plus it also leads nicely into the events of The Mummy and The Mummy Returns.
The Scorpion King 3 is a strange movie to try and sum up, really. It's a unique film, one I have never experienced the likes of before. It suffers for the slow, meandering start but when it gets past that, it really gets into its stride and never really stops until the credits. I'd definitely recommend you watch The Scorpion King 3, however. It's a masterpiece in how cheesy action films should be done and you will enjoy what you see. One of the best films I have ever watched and one that warrants multiple views, either on DVD, online or however you can find it. It is truly a classic film and has entered my top ten favourite films of all time.